YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN

The following is a mostly-true story.

A super-peppy hyper-sounding Ministry Telemarketer called me today to promote a youth event in 2008. The way he talked, this event was going to be all the rage and a totally new fangled approach. Here’s how the conversation went down…(kind of)

Me (M): Hello?
Dude (D): Hey Robert this is _______ and I just wanted to call you today to tell you about the ______ next year, it’s going to be wild and unbelievable. It’s an event like no other. Your kids will love it. Are you in? Can I send you some information?

M: So I bet it’s a Friday night and Saturday morning conference huh?
D: Well yeah

M: I bet you’re going to have a speaker, main worship guy, probably a comedian or illusionist of some kind?
D: Uh huh

M: Maybe a few specialized break-out sessions for the students. And maybe one for me too?
D: Yeah, how did you…?

M: Oh I bet you’ll offer an opportunity for me to network with other Youth Pastors and maybe rub shoulders with your special speaking quests.
D: That’s Right

M: At some point in the conference, you’ll show us a video of why you’re really putting on this conference. It will be a mission organization and how for $.13 a day I can build a facility to teach people English?
D: Have you attended one of our conferences lately?

M: At least you’ll have the resource tables with the special conference prices?
D: We have the latest and greatest

M: I tell you what… throw in one of those trendy canvas tote bags with your logo on it and I’m in!
D: I’ll put you down… can I send you a DVD?

Ok so the conversation didn’t go exactly like that but is anyone besides me getting tired of this perpetuation? I mean I'm all for missions conferences... but call it a Missions conference already! Do we really care so little about missions that we have to disguise it as "leader" or "ministry" conference? Will church leaders only show up if they're going to gain some new marketing ploy to increase their attendance?

I'd just as soon spend my budget money on something else. I think I'm done with "conferences".