YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN

Part 1 - The Importance of a Legacy

I caught a bird with my bare hands one time. It was a pet Cockatiel that had apparently flown away from somewhere. We named him Boz and put him in a cage. At first he was silent (probably traumatized by being placed in a brown sack and then locked in a cage) but later became very active and loud. We kept him for two years and then one day he was gone. My parents say they accidentally left the cage door open but now as a parent myself I know better. That bird was annoying he had to go.

They grow up quick don’t they? Our kids that is. It seems like yesterday the hospital was letting us return home with this new life. We were clueless and ignorant. Today we’re still a little clueless and ignorant but at least we know what to do with a new baby. Four kids gives you plenty of practice. However there is a day coming that at times haunts me. It is the day that I will look into my children’s eyes and realize that their time under my immediate influence is over. Their stay in my home, their tour of duty in my responsibility will come to an end. Particularly I think of when my three girls will potentially get married. One day I will have to come to the realization that they will no longer be my responsibility. Their husband will be their leader. Likewise, my son will one day lead his own family. Sure I will still have influence and instruction when asked but ultimately they will be searching out their own new paths and routes to life. I will no longer have the opportunity to show them every night how to study the Bible, how to love a spouse as Christ loved the church, how to be a parent, etc.

The thing about legacies is this, each new generation gets the opportunity to begin again. If you didn’t come from a great legacy, feel free to start one. Some are blessed enough to have come from a long line of ancestors with a strong biblical worldview and missional mindset. In terms of parenting I think most parents start off well. Most parents begin with bedtime prayers and readings from baby’s “first Bible.” However somewhere between “Now I lay me down to sleep” and select team sports things get dropped. Next thing you know the parent is saying “Hey can we read the Bible together tonight?” and the teen responds with, “Are you kidding me? How lame?” The parent throws their arms up in despair refusing to press the issue because after all, they don’t want their child to rebel against the Bible for goodness sakes. What happened?

I am not an expert and I do not have a degree in family counseling or childhood development. What I do have is story after story, experience after experience, and conversation after conversation with struggling and hurting parents who are wondering the same thing I am wondering: “How do I leave a Christ-centered legacy behind for my children to follow?”

In this series I will try to share a few of the things I find either important or absolutely crucial in leaving a long-lasting legacy. Don’t worry, I’m not going to make people feel guilty or inadequate. I’m not going to list a 7-Day chart complete with Bible readings and craft ideas (although that would be helpful for some of you Type A personalities). Truthfully, I plan on sharing my own struggles in this area. Because while I think I have a passionate interest in the discipleship and training of my children I also know that it is one of the hardest things I have ever attempted to do on a regular basis. I am not perfect. I don’t have all the answers and I make mistakes with my children. Parenting is difficult and rightly so. We live in a fallen world and those things which should come as natural and fully rewarding are (because of sin) not natural and many times not fully rewarding. I love my kids to death, but somedays I’d like it better if they were on loan. However good times and bad times aside, there is coming a day when I’m going to walk out on the front porch and look into that cage. I’m going to see that they have flown away and just like that crazy-haired bird named Boz, they will be gone.

Stay tuned, it should be a fun ride.