YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN

Part 2 - Preparation

Imagine if you will that it is Marathon Day. I step up to the registration stand as they staple on my back a white piece of paper with some numbers on it. This is it! I approach the starting line and anxiously await the firing of the gun. Before me lies 26 miles of heat-soaked pavement, twists, turns, ups and downs. The person beside me asks, “So what’s your target time?” To which I respond, “I’m not sure... I’ve never ran more than a mile or two.”

Leaving a legacy... parenting a child who hopes in the grace of God... and training and discipling the next generation is a marathon. Many parents are stepping up to the line and trying to accomplish the impossible without having done any of the hard work on the front end. There is no way that I’m finishing that marathon without some preparation. Likewise there is no way we’re going to leave a lasting legacy with our kids without some preparation.

I know many parents who complain that their kids just can’t get interested in church. They just can’t seem to get them interested in reading the Bible as a family. “It’s like pulling teeth” is a common phrase that accompanies these frustrated episodes. I tend to ask them, “Tell me about your own personal study. How do you seek after God? When do you spend time in prayer?” Other times I press, “So do you and your wife spend time alone in the Word and in prayer? Better yet, do your kids ever see you reading your Bible or have they ever “caught” you and your wife praying together?” Usually the facial expressions are obvious.

Many parents want the marathon championship when they have not even experienced a few 5 or 10K victories. Do you honestly expect your children to be passionate and interested in God when your very life, words, actions, and lifestyle clearly show that you are not? Jesus said that it is impossible to divorce our words and our actions from one another (Matthew 22:34-40). Our words and our actions are integrally connected all throughout Scripture. How hypocritical is it to ask our kids to spend their precious free time doing something that is difficult, demanding, and intentional when we are not willing to do that very thing on our own? I think this is why sports is such a popular outlet for many families. Think about it, the kid has to push himself in all areas to exceed. He strives, struggles, practices, and sweats to earn the prize. Yet where is mom and dad? Usually in the stands with a Big Red and a Slim Jim. How popular would those sports teams be if every mom and dad were required to practice alongside their kids? On the other hand, notice those parents who do take an active role in the sport with their child, they make it a family ordeal. Doesn’t that child love the sport more? Sure they do. The family is sort if united around that sport (whether this is a good thing is the topic of another blog). However it does prove my point. Families that invest in something together, enjoy whatever they are investing in to a greater degree. It could be baseball or cheerleading but it could just as easily be missional living and ministry.

Similarly, our children are pressed to give excellence in school (AP classes, honors classes, college prep classes, etc) yet many moms and dads choose not to help their children with what they are learning.. Parents, please don’t assume anyone is more of an expert when it comes to your children than you are. Your influence is key. Their teacher may know more algorithms than you but no one is expecting you to paint your walls with Algebraic equations to help your child learn math, you may not be good in math. However, the point is this, it’s easy for parents to demand excellence from their kids and yet remain unwilling to put in hard work themselves. Our kids will see right through this. They are geniuses when it comes to spotting hypocrisy. My four-year-old can tell something is wrong when I tell her she can’t have anymore cookies and yet I grab a handful. If she can see through that little culinary scam how much more will she see through my demanding she follow God when I fail to take an active interest in Him?

You’ve chosen a hard road if you’ve chosen to leave a legacy. Are you willing to prepare yourself? Are you willing to do some behind the scenes work that your kids may never see with their eyes but will most assuredly feel with their hearts?

Read more:
Part 1 - The Importance of a Legacy