A couple of years ago I asked my mom to write out her testimony. I wanted it for myself but also deep down I wanted it in case something ever happened to her. I needed the security of knowing she had a relationship with God and that I would see her again someday. Well she did and I want to share it with everyone here. I want you to know what kind of a mother I had. Her up and down battle with cancer and other illnesses finally took her life last week but she stands completely healed today in the presence of Christ. I miss her like nothing imaginable but I'm holding on the the truth that is Heaven and the hope of glory.
"We are not long here"
Robert
Carolyn Conn – May 18, 2009
I was raised in a Methodist church and always enjoyed going to church. At the age of 10 or 11 my Sunday school teacher asked our class if anyone wanted to ask Jesus into their heart. I chose to do that, however was not really sure exactly what that meant. One Sunday, a group of us went to the front of the church and was baptized (sprinkled with water). As life went on, I tried to be a good person, always treated people as I wanted to be treated, and knew right from wrong. When my children were born I felt that they needed to be raised in church to have a belief in God. We visited a few churches in the area that were Baptist, because my husband was raised Baptist. Church going was sporadic after that for many years.
In 1993, I was hit with a catastrophic disease of cancer and prayed to God to help me through it. It was decided that surgery would be our only treatment and afterwards the doctor’s truly felt they had removed all of it. I was thankful to God and yet continued visiting church only every once in a while. In 1995, I knew deep in my heart that I needed God back in my life and longed for a closer relationship with Him. I started attending First Baptist Porter (the same church that my children had been attending). I really enjoyed the pastor and my Sunday school Ladies class. I had never been taught the Bible in such depth and I was like a sponge, absorbing as much as possible.
January of 1996 brought my cancer back in a full vengeance. I could sense that it was going to be different than the first time and I really needed God’s help. Our pastor spoke one Sunday on Carnal Christianity, someone just going through the motions of life, believing in God, praying to God, doing good for others, etc. but not giving their entire life over to Christ our Savior. “Oh my gosh” I thought… that was me. I felt I really needed to rededicate my life to Christ but pride set in and I didn’t want everyone at church to know that I really wasn’t sure if I was saved. I was also afraid that many would think the only reason I was rededicating my life was because of my cancer and that I was scared. But I knew deep down in my heart I had to get right with God, so I made a decision not to care what anyone might think. We had a revival at church in March and the pastor spoke on faith. He asked, “What type of faith do you have?” The example he used was if you are in a rough, choppy sea. He asked, “Are you drowning? Or are you hanging on the side of the boat for dear life? Are you trying to stay afloat? Or are you in the boat, assured, helping others into the boat?” I categorized my faith as simply trying to stay afloat, barely hanging on. I thanked God for allowing me to continue to live, stubborn as I was, to give me this new opportunity to make a decision for Him.
That very Sunday I went up to the front to rededicate my life. I don’t remember walking to the front of the church, I think I was carried. A young lady named Amy asked me if I had given my life to Christ. I told her that I remembered going through the motions but there had always been doubt. Right then we prayed the sinner’s prayer and I asked Jesus to come into my heart. I chose to be baptized that evening at church and to remove all doubt, no more waiting, no more pride.
At that time I was actively going through cancer radiation treatment and my body was marked up with black markers all over my torso to show the x-ray technician where to align my body exactly with the red laser cross beams so no damage would be done to my lungs, heart or vital organs during my treatment. These markings took about 3 hours to create and align precisely and I was told not to get them wet, because water would remove them. Therefore, I had been sponge bathing for about two weeks afraid to get them too wet. I began to fear getting immersed in water, thinking that might remove the markings. This was again the devil making another attempt to stop me, to put it off for a few more weeks. However, I decided not to wait and praise God on March 10, 1996 I was baptized. Oh yeah, by the way, the baptismal waters DID NOT remove any of the marks!
I now have calmness in my heart and there is no doubt in my mind about my salvation. I have also learned never to let pride stand in my way or care what some may think. Because God doesn’t care where YOU have been, He doesn’t care what YOU have done; He is only concerned where YOU are going!!
You too, can be a friend of God forever if you make the same decision I made. You can be forgiven and you can have eternal life with God if you turn away from your sins and turn toward God (this is called repentance), if you have faith alone in Christ alone. Please make this decision for yourself today, for today is the day of your salvation.
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About Me
Husband to 1 wife, daddy to 4 kids, ravenous consumer of peanut butter.
3 comments:
I learned so much from Carolyn. Miss her and love her. I know Robert is glad she taught me how to cook!!
I love you!
So sorry to hear about your loss. Happy she is dancing with Jesus.....:)
Sweet testimony. And she is a cutie!
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