YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN

Faith@Home sounds cool and all... but do we really believe it?

"Parents are the primary spiritual leaders in a child's life..."
"We believe Deuteronomy 6 places the emphasis on the family..."
"We're going to partner with parents..."
"We've got to push faith back into the home..."
"Parents, it's your job to train and disciple your kids..."

I love these phrases. I've used most of them myself. With the recent popularity of groups like the D6 Conference, Rethink's 'Orange', and the whole Faith@Home movement these phrases are almost commonplace in many churches today. Thank God for that!

However what I'm seeing is that while many churches are embracing this mindset and looking back the the ancient paths of discipleship most are not charting a course to anywhere in particular. Most churches are not making the necessary changes to ensure this type of ministry actually happens. Most churches are simply adding more stuff on top of the old stuff. Most churches are not canceling certain children and youth events which exclude parents in search of greater ones that intentionally include them. Most churches are not taking that next step of asking, "So how do we really equip mom and dad for this lofty task we're slapping them with every week?"

Most churches are selling a product they have no intention of providing any type of instructions for.

Many are claiming family ministry is important (good). They're informing parents of their God-given responsibilities and callings (good). Yet they are leaving the masses in ignorance and darkness on simple pragmatics (bad).

So here’s something to think about if you’re a church leader who buys into an Orange-D6-Faith@Home model of ministry... what changes are you making in your church? What changes are you making in your home? What changes are you calling your people to make? What budget lines are you cutting/creating? What ministries are you stopping/starting? What community organizations are you partnering with? How are you personally equipping dads to be the spiritual leaders of their families? Are you asking them to read big books (cause they won't). Are you delegating this responsibility to other staff members and demanding they “fit it in” somewhere?

Let's not be guilty of calling our people to a higher standard than what we expect of ourselves.

This post would just be incomplete if I simply raised a bunch of questions and didn't offer any solutions or ideas. Truth is, there is a rapidly growing list of resources and ideas for churches and parents out there on driving faith into the home. You can find those fairly easy if you look for them (I’ve included a few later on). Here are some of my suggestions for all of us as we navigate this ancient-yet-future way of doing family ministry:

1. Write information for dads that they can read during lunch or sitting in the bathroom, not during an entire baseball season (don’t expect your dads to read those thick books).
2. Quit beating up men for NOT leading their families. Most know they need to and most secretly want to... however, most do not have time or practical know how. That’s where you can help.
3. Lead moms and dads to Scripture. Let the Bible reveal most of what you're trying to instill in them.
4. Speaking of the Bible... Preach the WORD! Quit skeet-shooting topics like Family, Marriage, and Faith with sermons that shove a few scriptures into your main idea.
5. Show parents how to do what your calling them to do. Like really show them. Invite them over to your house, use your couch, and your kids. Be a literal example. Oh and make sure it's not scripted either. Otherwise they'll feel discouraged the first time they try it and fail. Help them see that perfection is a unicorn and chaos is quite normal.
6. Point them to further resources... rather than expecting them to attend the next Family Conference with you.
7. In all aspects, make it easier for them to do something.
8. In all aspects, make it more likely that they will do something.
9. Celebrate and make a big deal of it when they do something!
10. Teach them to celebrate themselves for doing something! Small victories.
    

FURTHER RESOURCES
There are just so many good things to do and so many different ways to accomplish it. However, in our home, we seldom attempt to do anything on our own. We use some good tools from people who share our same desire to pass on to our kids a devoted love for God. Here are just a few of those resource ideas.

Splink
www.d6family.com/splink
These people offer short devotional ideas based around a weekly theme. It’s good stuff and it does not take anytime at all. I will say most of these are geared toward younger kids but if you have some creativity you can easily adapt them for older kids. This is produced by a great organization that attempts to include mom and dad into the spiritual development of their kids.

iQuestions
www.iquestions.com
Ever wish there was a website that you could go watch some Q&A videos from some great and talented leaders? This is it. They cover every topic from money, careers, sex, and parenting. It is video based answers to common questions many people have but are too afraid to ask.

Advent Conspiracy
www.adventconspiracy.org
Don’t worry this isn’t a protest for or against Santa Claus. This is a movement to rethink the way Christians do Christmas (primarily with how we spend our money). Their website explains it much better then I can. Check it out.

Servant Evangelism
www.servantevangelism.com
Need some ideas for what to do as a family to share the love of Christ in simple, everyday ways? This site has more than enough ideas.

Books
(all links go to amazon.com)
Parenting with Kingdom Purpose by Ken Hemphill & Richard Ross
God, Marriage, and Family by Andreas Kostenberger
Rite of Passage Parenting by Walker Moore
Building the Christian Family You Never Had by Mary E. DeMuth
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
Spiritual Growth of Children by John Trent, Rick Osborne, & Kurt Bruner
Bedtime Blessings by John Trent
Mealtime Moments by Focus on the Family (Heritage Builders)


Sites
www.homeward.com
www.pluggedinonline.com
www.cpyu.org
www.answersingenesis.org
www.cbmw.org

Go get em' and lead the way!

Robert