YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN

Part 4 - At Home

“You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up” is what Deuteronomy 6:7 says. “Them” refers to the words or commands which were spoken by Moses not only in verse 4-6 but also throughout Deuteronomy and the other books which make up the Law, or Pentateuch, or Torah depending on your preference. However notice the emphasis on how we as parents are to teach these words to our children while at home. This in no way discourages the teaching of “them” away from home which I will discuss in a later installment. Neither does this presume that corporate worship is not crucial. However, here... we’re talking about the home “when you lie down and when you rise up” etc. Frankly, we as a family are home more often than we are at church so during that time is there anything we can do to support what we have learned while at church?

What can we do in our homes to build a spiritual legacy?

I admit that there are numerous things that can be done that will not be covered here. I’m only going to talk about a few things which we participate in as a family. Feel free to add your own ideas or to alter these, the truth is there are several resources available to you. The important thing is that you do something. No one is going to do it for you. You as the parent are responsible (I dare say solely responsible) for this. In addition please don’t assume this is your church’s primary responsibility either. The church ought to help you (they’ll call it equipping) but ultimately this is your burden as the parent to help your kids fall in love with Christ. This is really the only thing that will sustain them in the long run. One of these days they will be gone. If you teach them how to do all the right things then have you really taught them anything or have you just modified their behavior? However, if you can somehow help them fall in love with seeking after God then after they are gone they will continue strong and secure. Seems like I read something about training them in this way so they when they grow older they will not depart from it.

Read the Bible at home...
There’s a noble concept huh? Joke if you will but the majority of parents (even the ones who claim hardcore Christianity) do not read the bible as a family on any sort of regular basis. Here’s the thing about family bible reading. It’s easy to do when you’re teaching your kids about David and Goliath when they’re 3 and the story is exciting and new to them. However fast forward ten years and a few dozen times of hearing the same Bible verse preached with the same main point (it usually has something to do with conquering our own giants). Next thing you know you have a bored-out-of-their-mind teenager who doesn’t want to hear the same old lame story again. Sadly, apart from some theological books or a great mentor most people never get beyond the basics of the Bible. Therefore most parents don’t know any other way of teaching stories like David and Goliath other than teaching their kids that we can do anything if we set our minds to it. That is why a good teaching pastor is so crucial not only to the health and well-being of a church but also to each family involved in that church. If you ask me any sort of ministry to families begins in a large part with the pastor. You as a hearer have the opportunity to learn from the pastor and then you can go home and teach it to your kids. Sure they’ll figure out one day that you are simply repeating what the pastor said last month but by then the damage is done, you will have already developed quite a legacy of your own.

What about location, time, length and all that business? You know, Where do we read the bible together? When do we read it? and How long do we read it? As far as location goes, we try to change it up. We may sit around the kitchen table, we may sit in the living room floor, lay on our bed, the kids’ beds, in the grass outside, you name it. We’re nomadic that way and I think the kids like it. The time we do it is even more flexible. We have found that the mornings usually work better for us because by the time evening gets here, we’re all zapped and often too stressed out. Plus with young ones dinner, baths, and bedtime are too crazy in themselves. In terms to length we are again... flexible. Typically, if we read more than a few verses we’re on record-breaking territory. Mainly because of the varying attention spans. Our oldest can sit still and listen for a while. Our two-year old boy is only good for a minute or two before he’s asking for more snacks or to go outside and play in the mud. Maybe a better approach would be to decide on teaching a certain truth or aspect rather than doing something for 10 or 30 minutes. However you look at it, the goal is to get them used to hearing the Word of God even before they understand all the words. Getting them used to sitting down and reading the Bible even before they can do this on their own. They will catch on... I promise. If your kids are older then it might not be attention spans you are concerned with. It may be helping them to see that God is not a God who writes corny kid bible studies but rather a God is will always be bigger than they figured and always more gracious than they can understand.

Note: It is also a good idea to let your kids (regardless of age) see you reading your bible at other times. Or let them see you and your spouse reading it together. This not only stains them to the importance of Scripture it also sets an example in action that corresponds with the example in word you are trying to teach them.


Sing at home...
We love to sing around our house. Most the time its singing along with a CD or the radio. Sometimes we break out the guitars, the bongos, and the harmonica and just jam sometimes too (this is by far the favorite)! We try to sing some songs that they will recognize on Sunday mornings. More often than that we sing new songs. However, we don’t limit this time only to “church” music (as if there were a difference). We’re all about singing blues, rock, kid songs, and even making up our own silly stuff as well. This is cool because not only do our kids get to worship God with their voices but they also are learning to appreciate music and musical instruments. By the way, if you have perfect pitch and have the need for instruments to stay ‘in tune’ then this method might be difficult for you. We don’t bother with simple things like that very much around our house. Nothing is more of a “joyful noise” than guitars out of tune from one another, a lego bucket for a drum, and child’s piano that rattles because there are coins shoved into the speaker holes.

Compassion International
When our kids turn five we let them start sponsoring a child (one about their same age) through Compassion International. Read all about it here but Compassion International is a great, great organization. Our oldest is the only one sponsoring right now but Claire turns five this year. Our plan is to have all six of us sponsoring six different kids from six different parts of the world. The other goal is to have our kids visit their ‘adopted’ friend when they are older. I say goal because I’m not sure how that one would work due to costs and such but hey it’s good to have goals right? I’m telling you right here and now one of the best ways to teach your children about a world in need of Christ is to have them adopt another child similar to them who is from another country. Ashlin’s friend Melissa is from Peru and it is amazing to get letters from her thanking Ashlin for the extra money she sent for her birthday. A little girl we’ve never met from Peru has taught our child things about money and contentment that we never could. Melissa also asks Ashlin to pray for her family who is hurting, a father who is in jail, and other brothers and sisters that need to know Jesus. That kind of stuff stains a kid and I can’t teach them a worldview like that simply by reading them a good book.

Like I said there are numerous other things that we do and that you could do that are just as important and lasting. These are just a few simple examples. I’d love to hear your ideas. It’s your home and they are there only a few brief years... use them wisely.

(next time: Planning family devotions: don’t be a dictator, let them take ownership)

Read More:
Part 1 - The Importance of a Legacy
Part 2 - Preparation
Part 3 - The Struggle