YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN

Faith@Home sounds cool and all... but do we really believe it?

"Parents are the primary spiritual leaders in a child's life..."
"We believe Deuteronomy 6 places the emphasis on the family..."
"We're going to partner with parents..."
"We've got to push faith back into the home..."
"Parents, it's your job to train and disciple your kids..."

I love these phrases. I've used most of them myself. With the recent popularity of groups like the D6 Conference, Rethink's 'Orange', and the whole Faith@Home movement these phrases are almost commonplace in many churches today. Thank God for that!

However what I'm seeing is that while many churches are embracing this mindset and looking back the the ancient paths of discipleship most are not charting a course to anywhere in particular. Most churches are not making the necessary changes to ensure this type of ministry actually happens. Most churches are simply adding more stuff on top of the old stuff. Most churches are not canceling certain children and youth events which exclude parents in search of greater ones that intentionally include them. Most churches are not taking that next step of asking, "So how do we really equip mom and dad for this lofty task we're slapping them with every week?"

Most churches are selling a product they have no intention of providing any type of instructions for.

Many are claiming family ministry is important (good). They're informing parents of their God-given responsibilities and callings (good). Yet they are leaving the masses in ignorance and darkness on simple pragmatics (bad).

So here’s something to think about if you’re a church leader who buys into an Orange-D6-Faith@Home model of ministry... what changes are you making in your church? What changes are you making in your home? What changes are you calling your people to make? What budget lines are you cutting/creating? What ministries are you stopping/starting? What community organizations are you partnering with? How are you personally equipping dads to be the spiritual leaders of their families? Are you asking them to read big books (cause they won't). Are you delegating this responsibility to other staff members and demanding they “fit it in” somewhere?

Let's not be guilty of calling our people to a higher standard than what we expect of ourselves.

This post would just be incomplete if I simply raised a bunch of questions and didn't offer any solutions or ideas. Truth is, there is a rapidly growing list of resources and ideas for churches and parents out there on driving faith into the home. You can find those fairly easy if you look for them (I’ve included a few later on). Here are some of my suggestions for all of us as we navigate this ancient-yet-future way of doing family ministry:

1. Write information for dads that they can read during lunch or sitting in the bathroom, not during an entire baseball season (don’t expect your dads to read those thick books).
2. Quit beating up men for NOT leading their families. Most know they need to and most secretly want to... however, most do not have time or practical know how. That’s where you can help.
3. Lead moms and dads to Scripture. Let the Bible reveal most of what you're trying to instill in them.
4. Speaking of the Bible... Preach the WORD! Quit skeet-shooting topics like Family, Marriage, and Faith with sermons that shove a few scriptures into your main idea.
5. Show parents how to do what your calling them to do. Like really show them. Invite them over to your house, use your couch, and your kids. Be a literal example. Oh and make sure it's not scripted either. Otherwise they'll feel discouraged the first time they try it and fail. Help them see that perfection is a unicorn and chaos is quite normal.
6. Point them to further resources... rather than expecting them to attend the next Family Conference with you.
7. In all aspects, make it easier for them to do something.
8. In all aspects, make it more likely that they will do something.
9. Celebrate and make a big deal of it when they do something!
10. Teach them to celebrate themselves for doing something! Small victories.
    

FURTHER RESOURCES
There are just so many good things to do and so many different ways to accomplish it. However, in our home, we seldom attempt to do anything on our own. We use some good tools from people who share our same desire to pass on to our kids a devoted love for God. Here are just a few of those resource ideas.

Splink
www.d6family.com/splink
These people offer short devotional ideas based around a weekly theme. It’s good stuff and it does not take anytime at all. I will say most of these are geared toward younger kids but if you have some creativity you can easily adapt them for older kids. This is produced by a great organization that attempts to include mom and dad into the spiritual development of their kids.

iQuestions
www.iquestions.com
Ever wish there was a website that you could go watch some Q&A videos from some great and talented leaders? This is it. They cover every topic from money, careers, sex, and parenting. It is video based answers to common questions many people have but are too afraid to ask.

Advent Conspiracy
www.adventconspiracy.org
Don’t worry this isn’t a protest for or against Santa Claus. This is a movement to rethink the way Christians do Christmas (primarily with how we spend our money). Their website explains it much better then I can. Check it out.

Servant Evangelism
www.servantevangelism.com
Need some ideas for what to do as a family to share the love of Christ in simple, everyday ways? This site has more than enough ideas.

Books
(all links go to amazon.com)
Parenting with Kingdom Purpose by Ken Hemphill & Richard Ross
God, Marriage, and Family by Andreas Kostenberger
Rite of Passage Parenting by Walker Moore
Building the Christian Family You Never Had by Mary E. DeMuth
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
Spiritual Growth of Children by John Trent, Rick Osborne, & Kurt Bruner
Bedtime Blessings by John Trent
Mealtime Moments by Focus on the Family (Heritage Builders)


Sites
www.homeward.com
www.pluggedinonline.com
www.cpyu.org
www.answersingenesis.org
www.cbmw.org

Go get em' and lead the way!

Robert

So for the past few weeks I've been remodeling a room in our Youth area. I asked a couple of guys in the church who are great carpenters and handy men to help (or rather oversee) the construction and they did a great job! Joel Bartlett & Ryan Dunn also got their hands dirty. We finished it today just in time for church tonight. Basically, we took an old Sunday school room that was only being used for storage and made it into an audio/video room. That move alone gave us some much needed additional space in the room.

Click on the pictures to see larger versions.

Why do we seek goodness? Probably because most people look at a Christian life and see some forms of goodness and that is appealing to them. Most people think that Christians are good people. In addition, most Christians portray their lives as being largely good. They hide the bad and showcase the good. The problem is that when people seek after 'goodness' usually all they find is behavior modification and and a perpetual list of "Do this" and "Don't do this."

The solution is to seek holiness, seek truth, seek righteousness through justification (all of which are only obtainable through Christ). In the long run goodness may be found, but more as a byproduct than as the intended goal.

1 Peter 1:13-21
13 Therefore, g preparing your minds for action, [1] and h being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, i do not be conformed to the passions j of your former ignorance, 15 but k as he who called you is holy, you also be holy l in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, m “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 17 And if you n call on him as Father who o judges p impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves q with fear throughout the time of your exile, 18 knowing that you r were ransomed from s the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but t with the precious blood of Christ, like that of u a lamb v without blemish or spot. 20 He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but w was made manifest x in the last times for the sake of you 21 y who through him are believers in God, z who raised him from the dead and a gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.

Below this post is Part 1. You should read it first if you have not. This one probably won't make much sense if you don't.

What about Scripture?
What does the Bible say about our goodness? Doesn’t it say we are to be good people? Yet is striving for goodness the real issue?

The bible makes it pretty clear that even in our best attempts it is impossible for us to be 'good.' Psalm 14:1 says, “There is no one who does good.” Jesus rebukes the Rich Young Man for assuming he knows what the word 'good' even means in the first place (Mark 10:18). In addition the Bible even tells us that Christians aren't the only ones who know how to do good things (Luke 11:13).

So seeking 'goodness' is bad? Got it!

Wait, if we are not to focus on goodness then...

Why should I not withhold my goodness from those who deserve it? (Proverbs 3:27)
Why was doing good on the Sabbath a potentially bad thing? (Mark 3:4)
Why do my enemies deserve me doing good to them? (Luke 6:27)
Why should I overcome evil with good? (Romans 12:21)
Why is goodness considered a fruit of the Spirit? (Galatians 5:22)
Why should I not grow weary by doing good? (Galatians 6:9)
Why was I created to do good works? (Ephesians 2:10)
Why should I hold fast to what is good? (1 Thessalonians 5:21)
Why should my goodness be of free will and not compulsion? (Philemon 1:14)
Why should others continually see my good deeds? (1 Peter 2:12)

So seeking 'goodness' is good? Got it!

I don’t get it? Why the de-emphasis and then a glaring emphasis?

And then I read this verse and it sort of summed it all up for me.

John 3:20-21
20For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. 21But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God." (emphasis added by me)

Do you see it?

Think about it, people who do wicked things avoid the light of Christ. They avoid the light because the light will expose their wicked deeds for what they truly are... wicked. So think about the opposite of that. Think about what a man looks like who tries to do the opposite of “wicked things.” You would think it would be a man that tries to do “good things.” You would think that, you really would, but you’d be mistaken.

The man who tries to live a life opposite of wickedness doesn't seek goodness, he seeks TRUTH! Literally, "he lives a life of practicing truth". He lives by the truth. Truth and Goodness are two completely different words in the Bible. Most of the time you see the word goodness (other than the ones listed above) it is referring to an attribute of God or describing something He gives, blesses, or has made (Gn 1:31; Ps 34:8; Is 52:7; Na 1:7; Jn 10:11; Ps 23:6; Ps 31:19; Zec 9:17).

Here’s where the confusion is I think. Truth is good but not all goodness is necessarily truth. This is why two guys like Gary and Larry (see previous post) can do the same things and they look seemingly similar. Larry does them out of compulsion (maybe to be a better guy or give back to the community or maybe he thinks he needs to do them for Karma). This is why Larry can love his wife and play with his kids and be honored by all for it. He can even be considered a "good Christian" when he is not. Some of the things he does are good and some of those things ring true with ultimate Truth... hence it's a good thing.

Yet for Gary to seek Truth, oh man, that is another ball game. Now Gary’s goodness doesn’t matter to him any longer. Gary is not loving his wife because he needs to, he is loving her because he can’t help but love her. Gary is not staying late at work for selfish reasons (though still entirely possible), he is working hard because he is daily, publishing the gospel that God has written on his brand-new living heart.

Larry may live a good life, but it is a life that shuns the light out of fear of being exposed and shamed by a holy God. Gary lives a good life and humbly (I daresay... boldly) comes to the light so that it may be seen that what he has done has been done through God (John 3:21). Gary is not perfect, far from it, but he is faithful.

Gary is no longer afraid of the light, he has no reason to be. While Larry lives a good life rejecting the light... Gary lives a life of truth delighting in it.

So you see “Does being a Christian make you a better person?” YES and NO.

Like my friend Taylor said, “Being Christian means loving Jesus and abiding in Him, who is God, who is all things good.”

It seems logical that abiding in Him would result in some of that "goodness" spilling over into you and out of you.

“Niceness... is an excellent thing. ...But we must not suppose that even if we succeed in making everyone nice we should have saved their souls. A world of nice people, content in their own niceness, looking no further, turned away from God, would be just as desperately in need of salvation as a miserable world - and might even be more difficult to save.”(1)


1 C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, 1980).

I’m a little long winded sometimes (read: always). So I’m not sure when this post will end. If it gets too long prepare for part 2.

This post is in response to a previous question I asked... “Does being a Christian make you a better person?”

My quick answer: YES and NO. (You may stop reading now or carry on).

I grew up in the South and I started going to church at a very Southern Baptist church. I’ve been a part of several churches and believe it or not even within the “Baptist” branch of Christianity there are varying views of morality. However, for this post I will focus on (pick on) only one mindset and understanding of morality. Goodness.

I’ve heard countless times from the pulpit things like, “Christ will help you behave” and “God will make your life better” and “Come to Jesus and He will make you a better person, husband, father, employee” and all that. Often I’ve battled these sentiments internally. Often I’ve believed them and many times perpetuated something similar. I’m not bashing any preachers here. I’m just shining some light on what I think is a small pervasive problem with many people’s theology regarding their own morality.

Christians for some reason or another really want to be “good” people. Why is that? Do we think that by being “good” we will make God more famous? Will our lives be more of a testimony to Christ’s redeeming work in us? Will our neighbors be more intrigued and interested in coming to our churches by observing our “good” behavior? This is why we love the testimonies which start with sex, beer, and meth and end with families, grape juice, and scripture memory. (Oh if I only had one of those testimonies...)

So I’ll admit this early on here... “I don’t know.” But what I do know is that I’ve had an unhealthy and malnourished understanding about anything relating to my “goodness” and what my Christianity “gets” me.

Let’s play a scenario here. Let’s assume there are two similar men. One is named Gary and the other is named Larry. Gary comes from a troubled past with abuse, neglect, drug use, alcoholism, emotional instability, self-doubt, and an all-around cruddy life. Larry on the other hand is just a good guy. He’s a hard worker and his friends love him. He’s the first to buy the drinks on Friday night and the last to spread rumors about you. Oh, I should add that Gary (the first guy) is a Christian and Larry (the second guy) is not.

Now, let’s say you meet them both for the first time on the same day. You meet Gary and see how he lives his life. You see a nice guy who handles life well and respects others. He loves his wife, plays with his kids, and stays late after work to excel at his job. Then you meet Larry. Larry handles life well, respects others, loves his wife, plays with his kids, and stays late after work to excel at his job. Practically the same guys right? Or so you think. Let’s assume you do not know the history of each individual. You have no clue what Gary has been through and how coming to Jesus Christ has drastically changed his life. You should have seen him 5 years ago.

If you met these two guys at the same time, and then you found out that Gary was a Christian and Larry was not, you would have to conclude that being a Christian really has no effect. It doesn’t make you any different from anybody else. Gary and Larry act the same. They do the same things, they are just as polite, caring, and patriotic as the next guy.

Tim Keller (responding to a similar scenario) states that “unless you know the starting points and life journeys of each person you could easily conclude that Christianity isn’t worth much and that Christians are inconsistent with their own standards.”(1)

C.S. Lewis compares this dichotomy of goodness to being sick with an illness while still feeling better. For Lewis, coming to Christ should make you a “better” person in that you should not continue to be a snobbish, spiteful, envious, or ambitious person. In that regard you have become “better.” Lewis also states that being religious is mainly useless unless it does make you “better.” For this reason the world is correct to judge our actions. The world should be able to see our fruit. “When Christians behave badly... we are making Christianity unbelievable to the outside world.” (2)

Yet Lewis says there is a flip side of the coin as well. The world is incorrect to assume that Christians (at any given moment) should always be obviously nicer, more tolerant, and more generous than those who do not believe in Jesus (see Lewis’ chapter in Mere Christianity called “Nice People Or New Men.”

Glenn Packiam says it even more clearly when he writes “the good news of the gospel is not that we simply behave better; the good news of the gospel is twofold: that we have been forgiven, and that our hearts have been made alive to God!”(3)

For this I can not help but think about the Woman at the Well seen in The Gospel of John chapter 4 (mainly verses 1-26). Most of you reading this post will be familiar with the story so I’ll skip all the formalities.

Notice Jesus offered her “living” water.

I’ve heard this woman called “The Bad Samaritan” from the pulpit and while living a life of sexual immorality and I’m sure adultery probably qualifies you for the moniker of “bad” this title misses the point of the encounter. Had Jesus been primarily interested in her badness then he would have offered her “good” water. Yet he did not. He offered her “living” water? Why? Because forget the badness... she was DEAD! She was spiritually dead. She stood in current condemnation against a holy God. Good water would not have been enough. Really, really, great, holy, spiritual, and purified church water would not cut it, she needed something more.

When we focus on people’s badness we miss the bigger story... their deadness.

To be Continued...



1 Tim Keller, The Reason for God (New York: Dutton/Penguin Group, 2008).
2 C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, 1980).
3 Glenn Packiam, Secondhand Jesus (Ontario: David C. Cook, 2009).

Billy & Cindy Foote

Being long-time fans of Billy and Cindy Foote, that was part of the reason I chose to go to this camp. To get to spend 5 days under quality musicianship and quality songwriting was bound to be a hit... and it was!

Billy did not fail to impress with his trademark "Cut Capo" and Eb tuning. Although I think if they actually performed songs in the standard "E" tuning Cindy's voice might have shattered the stained glass windows. That girl don't play y'all!

During the first Youth Ministers meeting on Monday night, Billy asked us to trust him. He would be teaching the students some new songs and that they just needed to stick with him. By the end of the week it would all make sense.

And that is what they did. They sang exclusively their music. I only counted three small bits of other material throughout the entire week. 1) "Nothing but the blood" hymn, brief snippet of Crowder's "O Praise Him," and one verse of "It is Well." Though these were peppered amidst his other songs in the forms of tags.

I could not believe how refreshing it was to NOT sing some standard worship songs. I love Tomlin, I love Crowder, and I kinda like Hillsong United. They write incredible songs... anthems if you will. However I never realized until this week how we often simply fall into a rut when we sing very popular songs like that. We subconciously think, "I know where this is going so I'll check out until it gets to the part I can cut loose." We seldom think about what we're singing.

But for the students to catch on to this was a blast to see. They said phrases like, "I like learning these new songs." Wow! Imagine that. Granted not everyone can pull this off. It takes solid musical ability. Billy Foote writes great songs. They are gospel-laden! They are not songs that celebrate our propensity to sin or repeat endlessly a job description of God. They are songs gloryfying God and the gospel, declaring our new identity, and freedom from sin!

The hits of the week were mainly Billy's brand new tunes Knees Are Bowing, Wonder Working One, We Will Trust, Salvation's Song, All Praise to God, and The Living One. They also did a few of their older hits like Welcomed Here and Not a God. The main focus was put on their two latest EPs "All the World To Me" and "Wonder Working One" both available on iTunes for $4.95. Well worth the price.

Thank you Billy and Cindy! For writing great songs and not being afraid to play them.

Several churches all across America are asking the same question these days and it usually goes something like this, "Where are all the Younger Adults?"

W. Bradford Wilcox has written an interesting piece in The Wall Street Journal stating the expansion of government and the increasing delay of marriage among young people are two important reasons for the increasing secularization of America. Citing recent statistics which state that only 25% of Americans 21 to 45 attend church, down from one-third in 1970s, Wilcox quotes Princeton sociologist Robert Wuthnow:

The most powerful force driving religious participation down is the nation's recent retreat from marriage, Mr. Wuthnow notes. Nothing brings women and especially men into the pews like marriage and parenthood, as they seek out the religious, moral and social support provided by a congregation upon starting a family of their own. But because growing numbers of young adults are now postponing or avoiding marriage and childbearing, they are also much less likely to end up in church on any given Sunday. Mr. Wuthnow estimates that America's houses of worship would have about six million more regularly attending young adults if today's young men and women started families at the rate they did three decades ago.

I'm not saying I agree 100% with this assessment but I think its worth some dialogue. I've heard numerous people say something like this... "Teenagers drop out of the church at about 80% upon graduation only to return when they become parents themselves and want their kids to experience church like they did..." Well the question must be asked is... If people are getting married at a much later age (some estimate 28-29 as the average) then would it not make sense that they did not show back up in church until their mid 30s?

I'd love to hear your thoughts?

1. Do you think people waiting longer to get married is a bad/negative thing for the church?
   
2. What correlation (if any) do you think getting married later in life has to do with a decline of the Young Age Group in the church today?

source: S Patton

this thing has the potential to be very, very good. Too bad it's 8 months away.

I find it interesting that 99% of the slick ads I get in the mail are selling me "Discipleship" materials for my church and youth. However they are all under the assumption that that discipleship can be accomplished ALONE!

"Simply read this book... watch this DVD series... study this book of the Bible... AND YOU MY FRIEND will become a disciple of Jesus Christ."

Bunk I tell you... all Bunk!

www.huntthetruth.com

A buddy of mine was recently in the Waco area and he noticed all these billboards around town advertising the web site 30minuteworship.com. So after I heard about it checked it out and I would love to know what you all think about this. I have some serious doubts about it myself. Understandably I will sound similar to the old codger who can't stand the kids' new rock-n-roll music but here goes anyway. 

I quote... "This innovative service is for anybody who is tired of the way traditional church has been done, has limited time, or has to work Sundays. The high energy, focused package will creatively engage you to personally connect with God." 

Today marks the 50th Birthday for NASA (at least that's what Google tells me). NASA was established on this day in 1958. However notice that a short 11 years later (1969) they successfully landed on the moon. 

Ok, without getting into all the BGCT vs SBTC (Tastes Great, Less Filling) argument... Here is why I do not like the registration process for the Youth Camp offered by BGCT (aka Super Summer). 

If you have ever been at/in/near/to a church event then you've heard this statement (or some variation of it)...

I'm taking a group of students to go see this tomorrow night. 

This Guy spoke at a conference I went to this weekend and did an amazing job!