Part 7 - Encouraging Words
I stink at encouraging. I stink at it when it comes to my kids and my wife. She deserves constant praise for all the hard work she pours into our four children every day and all day long. I do remember every now and then to thank her and to encourage her, but I’m way malnourished in that department. I’m also bad about doing it regularly with my kids. I find myself at times realizing that I’ve told them more negatives than positives. On most days, I’ve rebuked them and corrected them way more than I’ve taught them and shepherded them. However, even though I do have a hard time with encouraging my kids I try to make a point to do it and to even go out of my way to do it as much as I can.
Here’s what it may look like.
One of our kids decided that she would give little homemade cards to all of her neighborhood friends inviting them to church. I was blown away. We made a huge deal out of this. We went on and on about how cool of an idea that was and even helped her mass produce those things. Why? Because God is a rewarder of those who seek after Him (Hebrews 11:6). Doing little things like that is, in my opinion, seeking after the heart of God. So yes, we rewarded and encouraged big time.
Look for those times when your kids think “big” or “beyond themselves.” You know, those moments where they seem to think and act years beyond what is expected or “normal”. When your daughter chooses not to wear the revealing outfit, that’s big! When your son decides to share and not cut his sister’s head off with a rake, that’s big! When your kids make you a note saying that you’re a great mommy or daddy, that’s big! Capitalize on those moments. We’ve taken special trips to the store to reward good choices, we’ve given a little extra in allowances, and even allowed greater privileges around the house, etc. The point is clear... we are rewarding for good choices and God-like thinking.
Now, the naysayers out there will say something like this, “Wait a minute, aren’t you just rewarding for behavior that should be there anyway? Isn’t it dangerous to reward your kids for doing something that they should be doing already?” I agree some of these things should be expected from your kids. However, remember that you are building a legacy and typically with younger children. I don’t recommend buying your teenager a car when they choose not to cheat on the test, they should know better. However, when they’re young and they really have not grasped Christlike behavior, I say make a big deal out of it. It also depends on the child. Some kids have a harder time at this than others, be sensitive.
Encourage your kids, especially in those decisions and choices that demonstrate the heart of God.
(next and final time: Some resources that may help!)
Read More: I stink at encouraging. I stink at it when it comes to my kids and my wife. She deserves constant praise for all the hard work she pours into our four children every day and all day long. I do remember every now and then to thank her and to encourage her, but I’m way malnourished in that department. I’m also bad about doing it regularly with my kids. I find myself at times realizing that I’ve told them more negatives than positives. On most days, I’ve rebuked them and corrected them way more than I’ve taught them and shepherded them. However, even though I do have a hard time with encouraging my kids I try to make a point to do it and to even go out of my way to do it as much as I can.
Here’s what it may look like.
One of our kids decided that she would give little homemade cards to all of her neighborhood friends inviting them to church. I was blown away. We made a huge deal out of this. We went on and on about how cool of an idea that was and even helped her mass produce those things. Why? Because God is a rewarder of those who seek after Him (Hebrews 11:6). Doing little things like that is, in my opinion, seeking after the heart of God. So yes, we rewarded and encouraged big time.
Look for those times when your kids think “big” or “beyond themselves.” You know, those moments where they seem to think and act years beyond what is expected or “normal”. When your daughter chooses not to wear the revealing outfit, that’s big! When your son decides to share and not cut his sister’s head off with a rake, that’s big! When your kids make you a note saying that you’re a great mommy or daddy, that’s big! Capitalize on those moments. We’ve taken special trips to the store to reward good choices, we’ve given a little extra in allowances, and even allowed greater privileges around the house, etc. The point is clear... we are rewarding for good choices and God-like thinking.
Now, the naysayers out there will say something like this, “Wait a minute, aren’t you just rewarding for behavior that should be there anyway? Isn’t it dangerous to reward your kids for doing something that they should be doing already?” I agree some of these things should be expected from your kids. However, remember that you are building a legacy and typically with younger children. I don’t recommend buying your teenager a car when they choose not to cheat on the test, they should know better. However, when they’re young and they really have not grasped Christlike behavior, I say make a big deal out of it. It also depends on the child. Some kids have a harder time at this than others, be sensitive.
Encourage your kids, especially in those decisions and choices that demonstrate the heart of God.
(next and final time: Some resources that may help!)
Part 1 - The Importance of a Legacy
Part 2 - Preparation
Part 3 - The Struggle
Part 4 - At Home
Part 5 - Share the Love
Part 6 - On The Way
1 comments:
We all need a little encouragement sometimes! Thanks, btw, for talking with the 5th & 6th graders. You have a God-given gift for reaching that age group.
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